why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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