So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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