Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
