did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
