don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm always down for nudity.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
