pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
