i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
