So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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