Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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