those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
