Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize