if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is my gift to your gina
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
