he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
