I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
