Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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