my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
