Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He felt like a one man threesome
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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