I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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