Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
