Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
