so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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