i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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