Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
