gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize