Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize