i would punch a child for taco bell
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We are all done wearing pants today
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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