I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
