I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
