So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize