Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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