small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
