sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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