So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize