I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
