yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
