Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
