I love black thongs
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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