You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
