Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
