Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
