I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
