the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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