Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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