I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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