so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
