even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
