I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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