Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
are you so shy because you have an std?
honey bunches of taint.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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