my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
