My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
