I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
