Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
