I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
