You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
