I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
