You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
