Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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