We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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