I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
