I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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