Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
