Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
