Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Is Oprah even human
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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