I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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