I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize