who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
