Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
