Slut skills are useful in every country.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
