just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
