so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
