I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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