I cockslap morals
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
