There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
