"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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