i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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