I wanna bring you to show and tell
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
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